Good night, sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest...
-William Shakespeare

It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.
-Rose Kennedy

Friday, February 1, 2008

50 days

It has been 50 days today that I have been without my son.
50 days ago, I was in bed sobbing, I had left my baby at the hospital the day before.
50 days ago, I was trying to decide what to do. Do I go back to the hospital and hold him again?
50 days ago, I was fighting the logical side and the emotional side of myself.
50 days ago, I wished I could go back to the day before.

Today, I'm out of bed, I'm still trying to decide what to do. Do I move forward or crawl in bed?
Today, I am fighting the emotional side of me there is no logic!
Today I wish I could go back 51 days.


HLHArts said...

I wish there were a way to go back to, but just keep moving forward. I also wish there were something I could say to you that wouldn't sound so cliche, so oversaid.

Time will begin to help you heal, learn to function again.

Have you thought about (or already gotten) any kind of memorial jewelry or anything? I found that it helped me a little to wear my necklace because it helped me to feel like I was carrying some small part of Aodin with me.

Amy said...

Yes, Heather, I have a cross with some of Williams ashes, and a mother and child necklace that I wear. I also have a link on my bracelet with his name and Birthdate. So, I have a lot of those things.

I just can't seem to get passed the fact that he is not supposed to be here yet.

Carole said...

I am so sorry for your loss. There are so many times that I just wish that I had one more day with my son.

Antigone said...

I hope you find your way.

c. said...

Well, if it was up to me, I'd just stay in bed. I wish we could go back to a day where life was full and happy again. In your case, 51 days (or 52 now?); in mine, 92. Thinking of you. XO.

Coggy said...

Hang in there Amy. I can't say any more than that, it will get better.

Some days I still wish I could go back to that day in the hospital.
I'm so sorry x x x x