They say hope floats, well not in this boat it doesn't. It actually punctures holes in what life raft I have and helps it to sink! My optimism was good this morning. I'm two months today without William. My optimism is failing me and pesimism is setting in.
I woke up with an erie sense of calm about me. No true grief today. No real acceptance either just blank. Until lunch time, I called to check on work tomorrow and found out that one of my friends who had been pregnant with twins and lost one twin at 14 weeks has now as of yesterday at 22 weeks lost the other. I don't feel my own grief today. I feel grief for her and her family and I am tired of the sinking boat. The more people we put on it the faster it seems to sink. I sent my thoughts to her via others but I cannot right now find it in me to call and check in. I will later in the week.
So, I am looking to my blog buddies for some optimism and some hope. I need it to float today, I really am not ready to sink. I need to catch my breath and I need to feel some peace instead of the nagging feeling that the Titanic we are all on is sinking fast! What I really need is a good laugh and a couple bottles of wine. So, if you can offer HOPE that doesn't puncture holes, optimism that is true, a laugh or a bottle of wine please respond!
(This is me reaching out, instead of in!)