My state offices seem not to understand the importance of this bill that was passed in 2004. It states that I can get a Certificate of Birth resulting in Stillbirth (COB)for my son. It states that I delivered my son, yes, that even though he did not take a breath on this earth I birthed him. He was born. Why is it so difficult for others to understand that I need this piece of paper as an acknowledgement for myself, for my son.
I sent off for Williams death certificate and got that back without a problem. I then sent in the application for the COB. I received in the mail once again, a certificate of fetal death for my son. Mind you the applications are completely different for both pieces of paper.
I let it sit for a few days and then started to fume. I want my sons birth certificate dammit, what do I have to do? I went to my local vital stats office. The lady inside incredibly nice but unknowing, called the state office in Jeff City. She then handed me the phone, "what is it you are wanting?" said the voice on the other end of the phone. "I am wanting a Certificate of Birth resulting in Stillbirth for my son and your office keeps sending me a Fetal Death Certificate." "Well, Ma'am, that's all you'll get, it cannot be ammended to a birth certificate." Me steaming and crying now..."you mean to tell me that your office will break the laws that are in effect for people like me? Never mind you, I will contact the Govenor myself and report that the laws are being broken in state offices." I hung up the phone.
Now, I have yet to contact my Governor as I was trying any route to get what I wanted without stirring the pot before I got it. I have since sent a letter, politely stating my request, 2 applications for the COB, the duplicate copy of the fetal death report, and a copy of the LAW to the supervisor at the Vital Statistics office in Jefferson City, MO! I then emailed the MISS Foundation to give them a heads up. She reported that even in Arizona (the 1st state to enact the bill) she is still having problems with this law being implemented. My best bet to prevent others from going through this added pain...contact my legislators and or go to the vital statistics office in my state capital, with the law in hand. I'm not opposed to doing any or all of the above. I would actually like it if they would hand me a computer with a program on it so I could personally handle request like mine. I would like someone in their office to know what it means to a parent in our shoes to get a piece of paper. I would like just once for one of their idiots to say, " I am sorry for your loss, I will get this handled promptly!"
So, I am still waiting for my sons BIRTH CERTIFICATE to arrive. I know they received the letter and request as I sent it all certified mail. When I get that certificate I will be contacting all of my public office officials to show them what it is that we, women in our shoes rightfully deserve. To show them the law that was passed and signed by my Governor in 2004. I will make sure they know I am not going away...not until this issue is fixed! I will do whatever it takes to make it easy or easier for someone to receive a Birth Certificate resulting in Stillbirth for their child. For their records!
If there is one thing that has come from the loss of my son that I find to be "good" it is the fact that I now want to advocate for parents of stillborns I now want to be on the inside for the rest of my life. I want to help, and yes, I guess in a way it will be helping me work through my sons death.
Edited to add: Please see Update