If you link to my "life in Misery...oops Missouri" blog you will see that I asked, in October of 2006 for a baby of my own. Did I ask wrong? I guess I didn't say a child of my own that I could watch grow and become a great Man or Woman. So, my question is... How the hell do you ask right? No, other children aren't going to make my situation "better," but maybe just maybe somehow and someway I will get part of my William back. Although he is with me in different ways, I do so want to be a Mommy to a child who grows to be an adult here on earth. Do ya think maybe that might come true?
I am trying to figure out why William is no longer with me and I am trying to figure out how to move forward. I am not sure about any of this I am grateful, however to be standing, or should I say at least out of bed. I seem to be moving in the "right" direction. Whatever that may be. I am sure I will fall back again and step in it so to speak, as you never actually move forward from the loss of a child I think you move sideways. So let me move sideways and be blessed with a healthy child of our own who gets to grow to be an adult, free of harm and unhappiness, add whatever you know I want! Can you give me that?
To the powers that be I beg of you to take care of my son and to help me move sideways!
1 comment:
I don't think there is a reason for this kind of loss... no big grand something that can explain it. I think sometimes, unfortunately, these sad things just happen. I love the positive sound of this post though. You are absolutely moving in the right direction. Out of bed is a HUGE first step. I think you do move forward, and you are doing so every minute. I pray/hope/wish for you to have the happy, healthy baby you want, the one who grows up to be strong and wonderful and fantastic.
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