Friday April 4, 2008
My Dearest William,
I was outside this morning talking to you my sweet William. I told you that as much as I miss you I know you are safe. The wind blew and touched my face; I knew then that you heard me. I told you that you would be in everything I do, always, the wind blew harder as if to smack my face (I was having a cigarette) I told you that not in that (my smoking) I told you in what I did for others and myself would reflect you. The birds started singing. I giggled because the traffic was loud yet, I could hear the birds, and I knew you were here with me today. I looked to the sky and just as miraculously as you (a hawk) appeared, I watched you soar and looked again and you disappeared into the clouds as I thanked you for stopping by today.
I love you little man! I thank you for arriving when I need you and wiping away my tears. I thank you for being my first-born, my son, and the love in my life. I know that as much as I miss you, I need to focus on what I have in my life, your Daddy, your Grandpa Wayne, Grammi, Pappa, Grandpa, Angie, Aunt Becky and the kids, and all of our wonderful friends. You will always be in my heart, no matter where I go. My love, I cannot express how much I miss you but I know that you know!
More than the moon, the stars and the sun, I love you!
P.S. I promise to quit smoking! I do, I just need to be a stronger person than what I am now. It is something I will work on for all of us. Just remember, I didn’t smoke when you were with me, I started again, because, I was stressed, now I really have no excuse, I’m just weak!
(To readers: Please don't nag me because of my bad habit, I know it's bad! I will quit, in my time. I don't need nagging from those I don't live with! Thank you for your support!)