If...

I do believe we all have thoughts in our head that allow us to wish big. My big wish has always been to win the Powerball! I have always had ideas as to what I would do with this money. One of which has never changed, that would be to build my dream house. All of the other items almost always change save taking care of my family financially.

Since, William's death the thoughts run rampant, in the days after his delivery into this world, my only thought was, it wouldn't matter, money won't buy me the only think I truly want. Hell, I don't even have a child to spend it on!

Now, today my thoughts are different. If I won the big one my list goes something like this:

1. Start building my dream house (or, I should say OUR dream house so Shan won't get mad!)

2. Travel to meet all of the wonderful people in blogland

3. Purchase a trip for all bloglanders to go and relax together...on a beach, with drinks, and full service!

4. Put my money where my mouth is...Advocacy for parents in our shoes.

5. Stillbirth research and anything to do with any reason someone has lost a child!

6. The rest are truly personal (not ooo, yuck personal but personal none the less!)

So, what would you do if you won the big one? Where would you go? Who would you take care of? Give me something to laugh at! I kind of need it today!

ETA: My biggest wish truly would be that my son were here with me today and that all of your children were too. I guess, as politely as I can, I'm saying I wish I never met you. I hope that doesn't sound rude, I do believe you know what I mean. See, I need a laugh...I just don't have one inside of me.