Good night, sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest...
-William Shakespeare


It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.
-Rose Kennedy

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Three long months

Tomorrow marks three months since we found out we lost our little man. Today marks three months since the last time I was blissfully happy. How I wish I could be that happy still and counting the days until he is here. Instead, I'm counting still the days we have been without him here with us. It hit me this evening. I miss William, I miss him more than words can say.

Along with missing him I actually miss the old me. The me who didn't always think what if, or I'm really not sure how much longer I have here on earth. Not that I mind thinking the latter, I used to but not now. It just doesn't seem so bad now. I know when my time comes I will get to see my sweet little boy and hold him and kiss him for all of eternity.

This week is going to be difficult this I know. The dates fall exactly the same as they did that dreadful week three months ago. Only this week to top it all off, I have my annual Pap! Oh, yeah, instead of going in for and u/s or to pee in a cup or hear a heart beat, I get to have that fab speculum shoved you know where and swabbed! Oh, yeah for me!

Yes, this week will be hard. I will however work my way through it, I will wish for next week to be better and this week to hurry up and end! Maybe just once the universe will work in my favor and make it a little easier on me! We can all hope can't we?!

12 comments:

HLHArts said...

Three months is not an easy time sometimes, but we will all be thinking about you. I don't think the capacity to be happy is gone for you either... it is just in hiding for a while.

G said...

Thinking of you this week. Be gentle with yourself.

Coggy said...

Thinking of you today too Amy. I hope the week does pass and that next week is better.

Searching said...

Thinking of you and your son today.

CLC said...

Thinking of you. Treat yourself well tomorrow and the rest of the week. I wish he was still here with you.

Dreams do come true said...

Thinking of you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Angelisa said...

Take good care of yourself this week. I am wishing for you that it goes fast and that you are as kind and gentle as possible with yourself. I will be thinking of you.

missing_one said...

We mourn all of the things we have lost...

I'm thinking of you this week and hoping the week is gentle with you

Antigone said...

Take care of yourself.

~S said...

I'm a little late on this, but I'm thinking of you, too. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Thank you for your support and friendship the other day...I'll be thinking of you and hoping you find a few moments of peace.

Brenda said...

Thinking of you and sending huge hugs!

Hugs
xxx

Isn't it pretty to think so said...

Thank you for your comment. Like you couldn't read my blog through your tears, i feel the same way about yours. i am so so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. My wish for you is time travel...so that you could go back to having your baby inside you and the happiness that brought you. Since my wish will not come true, I will pray that you know more peaceful and happier times soon. thank you for visiting my blog, and I will come back to yours, as well.