Good night, sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest...
-William Shakespeare

It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.
-Rose Kennedy

Sunday, March 2, 2008

In other news...

There's a new kid on the block, Lisa, please go give her a warm welcome to this "club" of ours!
She lost her 2 boys in December due to IC.

I'm working with a woman who started an advocacy group in our area. Hopefully, it will be up and fully running by the end of the year. I know it's a long time however, these things take time and patience. I'm excited about working with her. She lost her child in 1978, born still. She has so much insight and is working on getting the Missing Angels Act in other states.

The weather here is definitely, Midwest! Welcome to Misery, oops Missouri is so true! 70 today and 30 tomorrow with snow! Oh,yeah! More over time for Shan.

I'm not sure what else is actually new but we have a lot of things ahead of us, a lot of hard times.
I'm working on Williams memorial service, not sure when it's going to be, definitely this month but we are waiting on the weather (mother nature) to cooperate with us. If you all have any suggestions I am open to what ever would make the day more memorable than it already will be. Williams due date is the 26th of this month, so I'm not looking forward to that or maybe I am, I'm not sure yet! I have phantom baby kicks which scare me and make me think he's still here. Of course, he's not which is sad to say more than likely a good thing right now as I am sick, I can hardly breath, if he were still with me I'd be huge and not able to breath! Don't know if either of us would make it! Not to say I wouldn't be willing to give it a try. Hell yeah, I'd try if it meant that I could watch him grow up instead of planning his memorial service.

We'll see how this week progresses, it's still very difficult but with the help of you all and my IRL friends, Shan and my family I will exit the extra hellish roller coaster some day and just enter the hell coaster! Thank you all for all of your support! I need it!


Brenda said...

Oh i remember so clearly those 'kicks' you feel after you have your bub. It would take me 5 min in the morning to remember i wasn't pg and it was just a horrible slap in the face.

Its the one thing I think should be told to all mums who have lost a baby if they have felt them kick. I was shocked when it happened and wish i had been warned.


Katie said...

Oh, this entry just broke my heart. . . the phantom kicks.

As for the memorial, I have seen some beautiful things done. . . balloons or doves released, a water ceremony, candles for each attendant, etc. One of my favorites (and I can't remember who did this) was when the parents had each attendee bring a baby blanket and then they donated all of the baby blankets received to the hospital where they had lost their baby girl. They treasured her blanket so much that they wanted other parents to have the same benefit and donated them in her name.

Whatever you choose, I know it will be beautiful.

c. said...

I get phantom kicks even now...I, too, felt shock when I realized what they were.

I hope the memorial planning goes well. I've put mine on hold for now. I don't know why. It all just seems so futile some days. I feel like I failed him by not getting him here safely and I fail him everytime I procrastinate on things such as these.

I considered doing a butterfly release. It's something I still want to do if I follow through with a memorial. The image of those little butteflies fluttering away, carrying the spirit of my little man, makes me melt.

I'll be thinking of you as William's due date draws closer. XO.

CLC said...

I admire you for planning this. I don't know that I would be able to. We had a private funeral for Hannah, but one of my brothers organized the whole thing. All I had to do is show up.

I will be thinking of you. Maybe plant a tree?

Antigone said...

Gawd...due date is coming up, isn't it?

I still forget occasionally, that I'm not pregnant. Once or twice I've reached down to feel my belly and been surprised.