Good night, sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest...
-William Shakespeare

It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.
-Rose Kennedy

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

To a better 2009

I'll raise a glass of something (beer, eggnog, wine, water) to us all tonight. Albeit before midnight. I'm hoping for a better 2009 for all of us.

This last year I was mired in my grief. I didn't do anything to help myself physically. I gained weight while I was pregnant and I kept in on after I lost William. I plan on losing weight this year. Is that a resolution? No, it's a promise I'd like to keep to myself. I started smoking again after I lost William. I'd like to promise myself that I will quit that nasty habit too. So what are my resolutions? I can't say that I truly have any. Maybe one could or should be that I resolve to clean my house every week. I resolve to organize my life. Ok, so that's 2. Maybe those are the two that I know I can stick to. I would like to resolve to be a kinder person, one who cares more about others than myself. To be honest, there's a part of me who wants to care more about me than anyone else. I can't say that I have ever done that one for myself.

I'm co-dependent, others problems are so much easier for me...they don't affect me directly and I can say a lot of things to help others. I never, well, almost never take my own advice. Maybe I should learn to do that this next year.

So, instead of resolutions tonight I will make wishes. I have a lot of wishes for 2009. I'll start the list here and now. Maybe by writing it down, I will feel like they may very well be granted.

Wish List for 2009
1. To find peace
2. For all of us to have happy, healthy lives and babies (happy, healthy ones)in this coming year!
3. For someone to find a cure for ALL cancers!
4. For us all to live long lives plus see number 2!
5. To reconnect with family and friends that I have pushed away in the last year.
6. To spend more time with my Gram!
7. For world peace!(Yes, that sounds like a Play.boy Play.mate answer but it's true!)
8. For Shan and I to get married.
9. For a couple of vacations this year (Didn't take a single one last year and really need a couple this year!)
10. To pay off all debt...yes this would require winning the Powe.rba.ll but hey, a girl can dream and this is a wish list!

So, tell me what are your resolutions or your wishes for 2009?

ETA: I edited this for the stupid spelling errors I made! Sorry!


k@lakly said...

For you to get everything you wished for:0)
Happy 2009!!

Monica LeMoine said...

Hi there - this is Monica. Great post. Similar to you, I am 32, almost 33, with one son who was stillborn at 32 weeks. A year ago I was still in grief, backpacking around Ecuador, trying to find another place for my brain. My resolution: figure out how to be the good person I want to be when my friends have babies, which they all seem to be doing these days, rather than a petulant sulky barfbag.

Amy said...

Monica, I can't link back to you but I have to say that the petulant sulky barfbag is perfectly fine!! I aspire to be that person somedays!

Hoping you get all you want out of 2009!

Aunt Becky said...

I'm with k@lakly: I want all your wishes too!

Never forgetting Gregory said...

I hope you get all of your wishes. You deserve all of these and more. Here is to a NEW year.

CLC said...

Happy New Year Amy! I hope your wishes come true!

c. said...

I edit all the time, but I don't tell anybody.

Happy New Year to you, Amy. Wishing you "better" in 2009. A lot "better".


Ange said...

Wishing you all of that and more. Thanks for being a lovely friend in 2008

Carrie said...

That's a great list.

I do hope 2009 really does bring good times.

Carly said...

Care for yourself before you care for any one else. You need to put yourself first :) Beautiful wishes.

Thank you for your lovely comment on the names site. Thinking of your William tonight


Coggy said...

Happy 2009 Amy. I hope you get everything you wish for too.
PS I edit without telling too ;o)