Checkin' out because I just can't handle checking in!

This is how I feel right now. I started this blog seven months ago to track and to purge my feelings. I'm on a so-so track right now about the loss of William. I miss him dearly, I always will.

It's not that I don't appreciate the support here. It's that I am feeling a bit tongue tied and twisted and to be honest, jealous. I just can't handle another pregnancy, if it's not mine. I'm sorry if that sounds cruel. I don't mean it to. It cuts like a knife though and I just can't handle the pain anymore.

I may run off like a dog with it's tail between it's legs only to come back begging for support but, today, I'm checking out. I will more than likely lurk, when energy allows me to. I do not believe I will comment though. I'm a bit redundant now days and a bit selfish too.

I know, I've done this before, left and come back. I'm sure I will be back around the nine month mark, I'll come back screaming. In the meantime, could you all do me a favor though? Please, don't forget about our William. Please, don't forget about me. I need to know that you will be here when I need you even though, I'm not here for you all right now...see, I told you I'm selfish!

To those of you that are pregnant, Congratulations (softly or loudly, however you want it!), I'm wishing for you all only the best. For the rest of us in this rut, you know what I always say, I'm wishing you all peace in this journey and some hope. Hope that someday we can join the subsequent pregnancy spot along this blog roll. Good luck to you all and much, much love. Over and out, stick a fork in me for now, I am done.

Because I could use a little fun! Maybe, we all could!

I'm a Mercedes SLK!

You appreciate the finer things in life. You have a split personality - wild or conservative, depending on your mood. Wherever you go, you like to travel first class. Luxury, style, and fun - who could ask for more?

Take the http://www.tomorrowland.us/sportscar Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

So, tell me what car are you?

He

Is more than a friend. He's our roommate. A seventy something, Santa Claus look a like. He's funny and caring, has a good sense of humor, loves to argue and most of all is our adopted DAD! He's Big Daddy Wayne. He too was looking forward to William being here even bought him clothes and Halloween costumes.

Today, we found out the worst possible news. It's either Hospice or Chemo we're told. Chemo is the choice he's made. It's going to make him sick, very, very sick.

My heart is sore, it's had one loss that I never thought I'd survive and now this. Now, my dear, sweet, lovable friend is going to face the fight of his life, literally.

I will try to keep updates going and to say the least the baby making front is on HOLD. For good reason. We will be taking care of Big Daddy as he goes through his treatments.

I am hoping that Big Daddy won't be joining William too soon. I do however know that when he gets there William will be spoiled rotten by him.

Please be thinking of us as we need all of the thoughts and prayers we can get at this time. Much love and peace to you all.