Good night, sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest...
-William Shakespeare


It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.
-Rose Kennedy

Monday, December 7, 2009

Dearest William,

Twenty-four months, it's an unforgiving amount of time. In three short days it'll be two years since I found out that your heart stopped. In six days it'll be two years since I held you. This year has been full of obstacles the greatest for me is the fact that you are not here with us. I really don't have words to describe my feelings this year. I am upset because I haven't yet decided what to do for your birthday. I want to do something but it seems that November and December suck for our families anymore, we have all sorts of bad that happens and it all happens around your season. Your season being the start of the holiday season, you know Halloween! That kicks it off, your costumes that Grandpa Wayne got you hang in the closet awaiting me to do something with them, I look at them and cry...you will never fill them. Then we have Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for a lot but I am hard pressed to be joyous about too much! Then we have St. Lucia Day (not celebrated in the US but in Sweden which is a huge part of your heritage) St. Lucia Day is your day, you are a child of light! Although in Sweden the child of light is a girl...I choose to believe that it can be you! You were born onto this earth on the very day it's celebrated! So, once again, as my thoughts go back in time, I think once again I'll have the kids over we'll light up the house with the Christmas lights and have some cake. Hopefully, I can get the energy to clean the house...but if not, it'll be family anyhow! Kiddo, I love you, I miss you more than words can say and I love you more than the sun, the moon and the stars.
With all of my heart,
Your Mommy

12 comments:

yummysushipajamas said...

Sometimes it is so hard to believe that time passes and the world continues to turn without our little ones, isn't it? I will be thinking of you this week.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious William. (I found you through LFCA).

I lost my daughter Madelyn on 8/28/09. Though my loss is still recent, from what I understand, the pain never goes away.

Many hugs to you.

CLC said...

Thinking of you and William.

Sue said...

Thinking of you, Amy, and dear sweet William. Holding you both close.

Michele said...

Thinking of you...

(from LFCA)

Tash said...

Remembering William with you today. Much love to Mom and Dad.

Julia said...

Two years was strange and hard for me too.

Thinking of you and William, and remembering with you today and in the days to come.

Beth said...

Thinking of you this week!

Beth said...

Thinking of you this week!

tireegal68 said...

I'm here from LFCA to say I'm thinking you about you on this day:) sending hugs and remembering your little angel, who I just got to know a little through reading your blog.

Just Me. said...

i cried reading this post. i'm so sorry.

((((((((big hugs)))))))))))

Cara said...

Remembering with you...

The first year is a milestone, each month passing with recognition and attention. The second year, according to me, is even harder.

Whatever you do for the season, for his day, take good care of yourself.