Twenty-four months, it's an unforgiving amount of time. In three short days it'll be two years since I found out that your heart stopped. In six days it'll be two years since I held you. This year has been full of obstacles the greatest for me is the fact that you are not here with us. I really don't have words to describe my feelings this year. I am upset because I haven't yet decided what to do for your birthday. I want to do something but it seems that November and December suck for our families anymore, we have all sorts of bad that happens and it all happens around your season. Your season being the start of the holiday season, you know Halloween! That kicks it off, your costumes that Grandpa Wayne got you hang in the closet awaiting me to do something with them, I look at them and cry...you will never fill them. Then we have Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for a lot but I am hard pressed to be joyous about too much! Then we have St. Lucia Day (not celebrated in the US but in Sweden which is a huge part of your heritage) St. Lucia Day is your day, you are a child of light! Although in Sweden the child of light is a girl...I choose to believe that it can be you! You were born onto this earth on the very day it's celebrated! So, once again, as my thoughts go back in time, I think once again I'll have the kids over we'll light up the house with the Christmas lights and have some cake. Hopefully, I can get the energy to clean the house...but if not, it'll be family anyhow! Kiddo, I love you, I miss you more than words can say and I love you more than the sun, the moon and the stars.
With all of my heart,
Your Mommy
12 comments:
Sometimes it is so hard to believe that time passes and the world continues to turn without our little ones, isn't it? I will be thinking of you this week.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious William. (I found you through LFCA).
I lost my daughter Madelyn on 8/28/09. Though my loss is still recent, from what I understand, the pain never goes away.
Many hugs to you.
Thinking of you and William.
Thinking of you, Amy, and dear sweet William. Holding you both close.
Thinking of you...
(from LFCA)
Remembering William with you today. Much love to Mom and Dad.
Two years was strange and hard for me too.
Thinking of you and William, and remembering with you today and in the days to come.
Thinking of you this week!
Thinking of you this week!
I'm here from LFCA to say I'm thinking you about you on this day:) sending hugs and remembering your little angel, who I just got to know a little through reading your blog.
i cried reading this post. i'm so sorry.
((((((((big hugs)))))))))))
Remembering with you...
The first year is a milestone, each month passing with recognition and attention. The second year, according to me, is even harder.
Whatever you do for the season, for his day, take good care of yourself.
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